I started shooting dilaudid then heroin 2 weeks ago and now I think I’m going through withdrawal. I’m too embarrassed to tell any of my friends or family and my arms look so awful. With everything going on between corona virus, a hard and confusing breakup that has rekindled into something weird and long distance, and general life bullshit I just want to escape everything and opiates allowed me to just feel good and not think bout anything like that. I recognize I am different when I am using and I don’t like myself when I am using around other people but it’s hard when I go home to be by myself. It’s consuming, I love the way it makes me feel but I hate the way I am when I’m on it. I’m also really scared of how far this will go. I don’t know how to stop when I can’t talk to anyone about what I’ve been going through, and I feel like I’ve been lying to everyone I know and love.
