I have a suicidal friend. She is very open about how she copes with her sadness, even though i’ve only known her for maybe half a year. A while back, she told me of a failed suicide attempt where she overdosed on panadol. I didnt know how to react. I didnt know what to say. I dont know how to show her i care. I’m not a therapist. All i could do was give her a hug. Even though it felt like she needed it, i still feel like a terrible friend. Everyday she shows up to school with new cuts on her skin. Even cuts on her neck. She doesnt bother to try and hide them, which is literally a cry for help. If she cuts with just a little more force she could kill herself. Im scared that ill wake up one day and receive the news that she passed away, and i wasnt able to do anything to stop it.
She is in foster care and jumps from place to place. Since it was so easy for her to open up to me, it makes me wonder how many people she has burdened with her problems. Im not trying to make her seem like a bad person. I just want her to find someone who will stay in her life forever, who she can really talk to. Because i know i cant. Recently she told me shes moving schools and i probably wont see her for a while. Im happy that i wont have to deal with her sadness. Her mood swings. Her fake smiles and laughs. I feel terrible that im feeling this way. Im still going to miss her. She was the light of our friend group, even though she was the saddest. Even though i know it wont last, i will try and keep in touch with her. Ask her how shes doing. Till we meet again. 🙂
