• 5 years ago
  • 243 Views

I’m an abuser, I thought I wasn’t a wrong person, but I am. To say that I hurt people online who I thought as friends, but it turns out that I was only hurting them when you didn’t even realize that it was abuse. I felt guilty, and I want help, I decided to go to therapy to become better, not to redeem myself or atone for the wrongdoing I did. But to become a better version, then I was before.

I use social media as a means to escape the harsh life I have with my parents and family situation. I’ve done it my whole life and never seem to let go of my laptop, but. It didn’t last for long, and I was so angry, so hurt, that still I wanted to hurt someone, I send anonymous threats, I stalk someone, I even send in gore images of dead animals. And when I realized I wasn’t thinking clear-headed and I just had this little voice in my head to tell me to do ‘bad things’ leading to hurt others including myself.

I end up hurting everyone I cared for and those that I end up hurting; who knows how many people I might have abused in the past without realizing the mistake. I don’t want to make that awful mistake that I did, and now I lost friends, including people who I made connections with despise me for it. I’m making this confession now because I now know I was in the wrong.

I know to ask for forgiveness when you’ve done something unforgivable isn’t the best way to start, and I want help. I want to stop being an abuser like my parents were to me, even though I was a victim it still does not excuse for what I did, and I realized now that I’m making this confession here.

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