Everyday I don’t want to admit it. It doesn’t feel right so thats why I’m here. I just really love myself. I look in the mirror knowing that there are people who love me. I don’t love my background and race, it puts me down as this whole new policy of freedom for immigrants are. I feel so judged and I just want to disappear, go invisible. With all this, I still love myself. I just feel guilty as there are going to be people that say that I’m being to cocky and all that. I’m just the one being put down, and my health problems are an added weight to what I need to swim through. By the day I feel like I’m going insane. I start to just daydream a lot longer than usual. Sometimes a few minutes would pass by until someone comes to wake me up. Walking has been hard for me too. Since I don’t want to be alone in this cold and dark house of mine, I started to make up some of my friends into reality. They’re fun to hang out with and they’re very special to me. When I break from that dimension and into reality though I just realize that I’ve gone crazy. Yet, I pass my times helping to my anime addiction. I’m currently very addicted to Hetalia, and it’s been 8 weeks, with everyday with me encountering a picture of my favorite characters, basically everyone. I can’t believe I’m here doing this but I guess I have no choice. This has been a long trip, but I’m not sure if it will continue any longer. I guess soon enough I’ll end up making my own paradise by hands and be proud of it.
(June 18, 2019) MhCASL.
I don’t want to get lost and forgotten, please don’t let me go.