I have a new crush. Which is not surprising if you knew me.
But this time, it’s way more intense. I go from wanting to learn Thai so that I can speak to him someday and wanting to go to Thailand to meet him, to stopping myself from finding out more about him because what if he has a girlfriend or is Gay.
And then telling myself that even if he was single and there was a chance for he and I to actually meet, I’m very sure he wouldn’t want someone like me… I’m average in every way… Even slightly beneath.
(I’m the kind of person that… One would have to “learn” to love me.)
I keep breaking my own heart, and it’s not fair.
Among my many flaws, I just… I wish I wasn’t shallow… Or hard to love…
