I am a man and I went down on my best friend in college when we were both very intoxicated. He provided verbal consent, but I believe he may have been unconscious for parts of the experience. This happened several years ago. I was never brave enough to talk to him about it, because I was afraid it would ruin a life long friendship. We both knew something had happened, but it was too awkward to ever bring up.
We hung out several times after that night, and I believe in my heart he always loved me as a friend. Sadly however, he one day took his life. I still feel regret for having never talked to him about that night and apologizing. I finally shared my secret with my wife and have been discussing it with a therapist as well. I have learned so much about myself from finally having been open about my story.
I wanted to share this, because I want to take accountability for having made a bad decision. I also want to try and turn my bad decision into something more positive. I am encouraging others to be more open and honest about s** to make sure that when you’re with someone, they are comfortable with the situation. There is often guilt surrounding s**, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t talk about it.
If you’ve made a mistake like mine, remember we can still evolve as humans. Instead of focusing on the mistake, how will you use the lesson to better yourself? Now that I’m married with two kids, I don’t often find myself in very many s******* promiscuous situations anymore. I haven’t really been able to use what I’ve learned in this way. However, I’m now much more open and honest with others and how they’re feeling, just in general. I will also one day be better prepared for helping my kids handle these kinds of situations more appropriately.
I hope that my story can help someone else.
