I don’t think my father in-law will live much longer. I haven’t told my wife because I don’t think anything can change the situation and it would cause her a lot of pain before the event. I’m 90% certain I’m doing the right thing, but that 10% of doubt is nagging me.
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No you’re right to say nothing. If she could make some useful plans or changes it might be worth telling her. Otherwise don’t. Take her out to dinner soon or do something else to give her a little time away from the scene.