I am a minor, a boy.
I write it again because I’ve worded myself wrong the last time.

For past weeks I’ve had an actual p******** go after me, groom me, talk very explicitly about r***** me. He threatened to hurt me and my friends and overall made me feel scared and trapped. He claimed to know my address and threatened to go to my house and r*** me.

It was gross and scary. I hated every second of it. It caused me nightmares and suicidal thoughts.

Thanks to my friends he can no longer talk to me but at the same time I wish he did.

Lately I’ve been having wet dreams about him doing explicit things to me.
Despite the fact that I hate him and am scared of him, a part of me wants to message him, have him own me, take care of me. Despite threatening me if I don’t cooperate, he did say things that made me feel loved and cared for. I have an urge to talk to him, sext perhaps, send him my photos and maybe even nudes if that’s what he wants.
I keep having those s***** thoughts and dreams about him against my own will.

I know it’s wrong and that he’s a bad person. But I can’t help feeling the way I do. I can’t help but crave having him do all those things to me and own me.
I feel disgusting.

• Share on Facebook