My mum passed away a month ago. I was her carer, I gave her everything I had at the cost of my own life and now have nothing, no money no future, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. My ‘family’ are all moving on, but I can’t, and I feel so guilty because I’ve decided to end my own life, I hate the idea of hurting anyone, I just can’t be here anymore, I can’t take anymore suffering, and hope they can forgive me for causing them more pain.
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Dude, my mom passed suddenly 6 months ago, and we were as close as two people can be. Do yourself a favor and give it some time, at least a year. When they first die, you want to follow them to heaven rather than endure life without them in this hostile, hateful world. I ride a motorcycle and my art teacher, who has been through the most horrific early life I’ve ever heard of – her father was stabbed to death in front of her when she was 11, then they cut her throat but she lived – said “Don’t kill yourself on the motorcycle. Your tendency is going to want to say “Fuck it.” Ask yourself, too, if your mother would want you to commit suicide. I ask myself all the time, “What would Mom want me to do in this situation?” and I get an instant answer. Good luck, you’re in deep mourning and not thinking clearly. God love our Moms!
Hang on “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light get’s in” “The broken heart beneath is teaching to the broken heart above.” Leonard Cohen. Your mum still loves you and she’d want the best for you and suicide isn’t it.