I still haven’t let go of an ex-girlfriend who died alone in a hospital room after we broke up because I could no longer deal with her constantly being sick. I put on a facade that I’m okay because it was so long ago but there isn’t a night that goes by that I don’t start to cry.
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Don’t blame yourself. Think about all the good times you guys had together. I’m sure they helped her get through a lot even if you weren’t always there which it was not your job to be since she was your ex anyway. Don’t blame yourself for something out of your control.