• 3 months ago
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I hate where my life is going and despite having countless conversations with my partner of a few years, I can tell we are not on the same page about what we want for our futures (they want to find a house to move in to. I have always, and still want to, do a lot of traveling before I decide where I want to settle). It hurts because I can’t share that’s how I feel without a defense being put up, so I just say very vague things like “yeah, that’ll be cool”.
It’s not that I don’t love them anymore, I have just felt like a shell of who I really am anymore because of it. I don’t find joy in anything, I’ve stopped doing the activities I have always enjoyed, I want to sleep constantly and not face it, I want to disappear. I miss who I used to be and the love and energy I had to share with those around me, now I don’t even have the energy to hold conversations with the people closest to me.
The hardest part is not having anyone to really talk to. They are either biased on my situation or partner, so aside from writing in a notebook, I feel so alone and I feel so lost on how to better my life and my outlook on myself..
I often find myself wishing I could disappear from all social medias and start anew, without anyone ever noticing I did. I also find myself wondering if I was really meant to spend my life without one partner, or if I’m just meant to travel and meet new people in new places.

All Comments

  • Self reflection is always a positive thing. Sounds like you may need to make some changes. It’s going to happen if you truly want to be happy. You and your partner are truly not on the same page. That’s not good. You do not sound happy at all or enthusiastic about life. Wanting to delete all of your social media (your identity and accomplishments) means you essentially want to erase your existence. That’s deep!! Think about what you just wrote tonight and see how you can successfully work towards making your life exciting again! You owe it to yourself! Good luck and stay focused… 😉

    Anonymous February 22, 2019 9:51 am Reply

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