A close friend I’ve known for 12 years nearly is almost unbearable to be around or talk with. I feel urges to end our friendship but I feel like I’m the only person he has consistently in his life for support.
When we first began our friendship he was funny, we had a lot in common, and very similar interests. About 7 years ago, He had a hard time dealing with the death of a parent. A girlfriend he loved dearly also walked out of his life between those incidents. He still feels hurt and talks about her.
He became very depressed and increasingly negative. Any advice or offer of assistance to help was met with excuses and reasons why it wouldn’t work. He lashes out at me and complains often about his life but isn’t willing to do anything about it. He’s in this odd state of learned helplessness and arrested development (lacking the tools to navigate his life into adulthood).
His negativity drags me down, tbh. It’s draining. I walk on eggshells when we hangout or talk because anything could trigger him unintentionally. When something good happens in my life I’m afraid to share it with him because I can sense that it triggers him or he isn’t truly happy for me.
Idk how or if I could walk away from this without any guilt…
All Comments
You done your best in being a supportive friend. But essentially, your friend has to learn to help themselves. You can’t help those, who refuse to help themselves.
Also, you have to put your mental and emotional health first, before being their for others. So ditch this toxic person from your life permanently or take a temporary reprieve, to recharge your batteries – or you’ll end up hating this person in the long run, if you let it continue this way. Plus, if you’re that concerned about this friend, take an assertive stance and be honest to them – this person needs to seek help and sort their shit out! If this advice doesn’t open their eyes, fuck them!