When I was a kid (like 12 or 13) I wanted to know what a kiss felt like so bad, so I went to my sister’s room and kissed her while she was sleeping. I then immediately realized that what I did was fucked up and I got out of the room. I forgot about the incident for a long while, but then this memory came back to me a few months ago (Im 21 now), and it haunts me every now and then. Just to clear things up Im not troubled or anything like that, I don’t have any feelings (or physical attraction) for my sister, and I find what happened extremely disgusting. And the thing is, I know there’s nothing there, it was a kids mistake, yes, but still I just don’t feel comfortable living with that memory, I feel as if I’m lying to my loved ones, I don’t know why, I just feel the need to get it off my back. Problem is I know that no one would actually think of me the same, I mean I myself am disgusted by that memory, I really want to get that memory out of my head, its really disturbing me, and its really hurting me, the fact that I was a kid doesn’t justify a mistake like that for me. To be honest if I was a sick person who was actually into that kind of stuff I would tell everyone about what I did and go see someone for help, but the thing is Im 100% okay, and Im 100% not into my sister (the idea itself makes me wanna puke), so I really don’t need help with that, I just need to get that memory out of my head as its not only disturbing me but actually making me feel guilty about something meaningless I did as a kid. Im not willing to share this incident with my sister, family, girlfriend, or anyone at all, its not a matter of who I trust and all, its just I know no one would ever look at me the same, even tho Im nothing like that. I really don’t know what to do, would appreciate it if someone could help me stop this memory from haunting me.
P.S: I know some of you guys would think if it meant nothing to you then why make a big deal out of it, and for those I say Im not, Im just really disturbed by that memory and I have no control over my brain when it comes to flashing certain memories out of no where…bottom line, I just want it to stop.
All Comments
tell her honestly may need some prefacing but if she loves you (as family) she wont look differently on you, knowing that she knows and isn’t holding a grudge against you will help
you forget about it and or help you come to terms with it
Yikes dude, just fuck her already
See a therapist – in theory that kiss is not a deal breaker
Nothing a lobotomy can’t take care of
It was just a kiss and if you can’t remember if you were 12 or 13, you have begun to forget it finally.