• 3 months ago
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i have had a girlfriend once before. it diddnt go too well but thats not the reason for this confession.

when i was 19 i was lonely one day and decided to go and seek some kind of conversation on the only reliable place to get dumb conversations. that of course being omegle; while there i was berated with many attempts to phish me out of money by e-sluts and many men just looking to jack off. the usual.

and then i got put into a chat with someone that chose all the same interests as me and we started talking. she revealed to me that she was actually 14 and she lived across the country. this being america its a 20 hour drive. and i told her she shouldnt use such a site because of all the creepy guys who would try and take advantage. and we talked for more than an hour on things. anything. it was text so its not like we had to be really social just throw ideas around gage eachothers reactions and me being starved for such conversation asked if she had a facebook so we could use the messenger app to talk.

her mother had unfortunately prohibited it. so we exchanged discord links and started up a conversation on there. she was nice; she would talk to me and we had so much in common we saw eye to eye on a lot of subjects. we were both lonley and because of the disconnect of talking through text i told her things i had only ever once confided in my brother. this was within the first week. we talked daily, after her school let out we would chat about how the day went and continued whatever conversation we were having the day before. i knew her favorite color, food, hobbies, ambitions, fears, just about everything. and i was falling for her. some little girl half way across the world who seemed just as starved for affection as i was.

i think back and i think i was in love. i never talked to her directly, her parents would have gone off to know she was talking to some guy; they were just like that. and i knew because of laws and the fact that i diddnt feel like i diserved such a connection i decided to cut contact. i diddnt want her to get into trouble or hold out for some stranger on the internet.

oh and she told me she had a boyfriend who was clingy and possessive and she wanted to break up with him. it stung. i was the exact same as him to my only girlfriend i had ever had and it had ended bad. i gave her the only advice i thought to be right. break up with him. its not healthy to think of someone else as your own and to think of them as better than yourself.

when i cut contact i cried for a long while and still think back to our little conversations. the photos of her dogs and the photos of herself and her snowy lawn. i truley regret cutting contact with her and i know thats selfish. but that was the only genuine connection i think ive ever had. some little girl half way across the world that i thought deserved better.

All Comments

  • im 21 now, if i even tried to make contact again i doubt she would even remember me.

    Anonymous January 9, 2019 2:56 am Reply
    • to be honest i felt like sharing this because i just read through an entire series about a student and teacher who fell in love with eachother and it made me depressed. there were a lot of similarities to our situation aside from the fact that i chose to let her go.

      Anonymous January 9, 2019 3:01 am Reply
      • You could have stayed as friends. And could have let her know it could never go beyond friendship because of her age

        Anonymous January 9, 2019 3:12 am Reply
        • she wasnt pushing in any way twords anything more than friends. i was the one who could not handle the thought of rejection. the truth was i desperately wanted to be more than friends and because our proximity and again the laws it would be a little more than just a tricky situation. i do believe if i asked her to wait for me, or asked her to be mine she would have said yes. i think that might have scared me as much as being rejected.

          Anonymous January 9, 2019 3:19 am Reply
          • I would have preferred keeping a friend than cutting contact all together, but thats me.

            Anonymous January 9, 2019 3:22 am
  • I’m very disappointed that you two never fucked. Children are so soft and squishy. Plus, they’re easily killable. Anyway, I think you shouldn’t’ve cut contact with her.

    Anonymous January 9, 2019 3:21 am Reply
    • 🍆

      Anonymous January 9, 2019 3:22 am Reply
    • What the fuck is wrong with you?

      Anonymous January 9, 2019 3:25 am Reply
    • you think im going on a weeklong roadtrip for a booty call… nah fam. also her father and her mother would probabily boil my balls while attached… very strict. and as i said i do regret cutting contact.

      Anonymous January 9, 2019 3:27 am Reply
    • No, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?

      Anonymous January 9, 2019 3:29 am Reply
      • me? the op?

        Anonymous January 9, 2019 3:30 am Reply
        • No, that person said children were easily killable. The fuck!?

          Anonymous January 9, 2019 6:55 am Reply
          • They’ve got a point though. A child has softer bones and is smaller than an adult, making it much easier to kill them.

            Anonymous January 9, 2019 7:00 am
          • i mean your not wrong. but then again everyone is easy to kill if they arent expecting it.

            Anonymous January 9, 2019 11:11 pm
    • Why are we talking about death!? Stop mentioning how easy it is to kill little defenseless children!

      Anonymous January 10, 2019 6:49 am Reply

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