• 5 years ago
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How can I stop drinking alcohol when so many of my friends still drink alcohol all the time? I have a problem. Socially it’s all around me? When I quit smoking cigarettes it was so much easier socially – because everyone I know had quit smoking years before me and I had basically resorted to secret smoking and hiding it from my wife for several years – kinda ridiculous when I think about it… sneaking around smoking cigarettes in secret for 8 years once I got married and trying to hide it

But cigarettes are socially unacceptable in many upper middle class white collar college educated professional groups these days … just ten to fifteen years ago it was not unusual for a professional to still smoke twenty years ago it was certainly very normal – just look at the “Friends” episodes about Chandler smoking!

But not long after NYC banned smoking in 2002 in bars and restaurants it became a national tidal wave, soon cities and states across the country were banning smoking – with offices following suit rapidly on the ban – the smoking sections started getting banned in restaurants here in the south by 2006

So I could smoke perfectly socially acceptable all while I was in high school from 1996 through college and afterwards clear through 2005-2006. I smoked most heavily from 1998 through 2007, when I first started dating my future wife, who did not like smoking. When I got my professional job in 2008 I knew I had to hide it – I had already been working on hiding my smoking during my internship the year before – And when I got married the following year my wife asked me to Not smoke in the house and to try to cut back and quit – even though her little sister and mother were all heavy cigarette smokers, as well as her brother, she was the only non smoker in her family and she didn’t like cigarettes

I think she put up with my secret smoking without saying anything to be nice and to avoid a needless fight.

So from 2008-2015 I kept smoking in secret, up to a half a pack a day, always in secret when no one was around. I’d wait until my wife left for work then quickly smoke cigarettes in the back yard, then wash up to hide the smell and go in to my work – id do that whenever I traveled for work out of town and whenever my wife would travel for work again I’d sneak around and wander around alone in parks chain smoking one cigarette after the other, or sometimes gas stations or hotels by the interstate on the side of town away from where I worked or lived – all just to hide my nicotine addiction.

I really did love smoking. I just hated how socially unacceptable it was both in my workplace, with my wife and with my new friends who all mostly don’t smoke at all or quit years ago and don’t smoke anymore at all. The very few friends who do still smoke have switched to vaping years ago.

Point is: in my social circles these days smoking cigarettes is very unusual – I can go to a party now with 50+ people and not more than 5 at most would be out on the back porch smoking – or possibly just one or two or possibly none at all! ten or so years ago if I went to a party About half of the people would be stepping outside to smoke – and that had been totally normal for me for over a decade in the social circles I had been in

But now virtually nobody in my friend group smokes – and I was the one holding out for years and years secretly sneaking around sneaking cigarettes and trying to hide it!

When I became a father 3 years ago it made sense that was a good time to quit – I hadn’t planned it – it just sorta happened that way

So it was ultimately easy socially to give up smoking – because I had been hiding my smoking for years

Thin for me is: I drink at home. In front of my wife. In front of my daughter. Wine and Beer. I drink and drive with my daughter in the car. I drink at restaurants. I drink at bars. I’ve brought my 2 year old daughter into bars and breweries. I used to drink a lot of whisky at home. Gin before that. Had to cut back on the hard liquor closer to last year because I had been boozing hard on liquor for years and it was taking its toll

The alcoholism is taking its toll on me. I know I need to quit. Truthfully, I have known I have needed to quit for years. Actually since si first started having drunken incidents with my fiancé in 2008. I got drunk and said a bunch of crazy s*** to her. Poor girl. She wasn’t even old enough to legally drink and she was marrying a nearly 30 year old fat a****** with a serious drinking problem.

To be fair, my drinking problem had probably started getting in a bad way around 2006 or so, right around when I met her when she was just out of high school and I offered for her to move in with me after just four months.

But yeah so I’ve been drinking hard too hard in front of her for years. It’s always been there.

She doesn’t drink much. An occasional glass of wine or something like that.

But all my friends drink

All my friends drink a lot

They all drink a lot of beer and wine

They all drink a lot of bourbon and scotch

My wife’s sister drinks a lot too as does many in her family

It’s really weird when I think about it

But I don’t know how to quit drinking socially !!

How do I do it?

Please help me.

All Comments

  • have you ever drank so much so fast that you blackout drunk, wake up on a friends couch just fucking hungover and wet from puke and pissing your pants, then at least a dozen people tell you the horrifying details of your drunken stupidity, then drink again with the same outcome for the next 6 days?

    if no? do it, it will really evaluate your “alcoholism” and that should be incentive for quitting, because sounds like you got a good life boozing, and that leads to a good life boozing. try to really embarrass or hurt yourself drinking.

    if yes? that has happened. and you’re still drinking? wow.

    Anonymous December 6, 2018 6:01 am Reply

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