This depression makes me have reckless urges. I want to abandon my child, run away.
Sometimes I want to hook up with a stranger or start a fling. I’m not even attracted to anyone anymore- just to do it for the chaos.
I want to trash the house. I want to shave my head. I want to secretly take a new job and barely for a month to lose 20 pounds and finally be under 100 lbs (I’m barely 5 ft so its really not that thin for my height or build).
I just want to destroy all I’ve worked so hard to build.
I want to disappear forever.
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Barely eat*
You sound bored. Probably the only reason you have a child is because you were bored.
Fuck you. My kid was an accident and has huge behavioral issues. I have no support so I’m alone for weeks with a child who hurts me all day. It’s suffocating.
he has issues because you have not given him attention and meaningful love.
Love is educating him and showing him you are boss but also a caring individual
No. She has issues because she was kidnapped and abused and has developed an attachment disorder stemming from Stockholm syndrome. You don’t know my story or whst I’ve been through with my little girl. You don’t know what happened to make her hate me and the worst part is I’ll never know either.
Right now she’s on day 3 of barely eating because if I eat she won’t. If I bathe she bites me. If I hug her during a tantrum she hits herself.
But I still hold her until she falls asleep and naps in my arms knowing she will attack me because falling asleep alone scares her more.
As for abortion it’s not legal in the country I was living in. Adoption wasn’t an option because the fathers family members and my own threatened to spread false rumors and ruin us and try to track down the baby and get custody (and proceed to make sure she would hate us). Those same family members kidnapped her and did God knows what to her.
I do my best. All any parent of a traumatized child does. But you can go fuck yourself if you think I don’t struggle with it every day. My own toddler hates me and asks to go back to “mum-mum” (not me) after she bloodies my mouth for daring to hand her a toy.
And No- abortion wasn’t an option. Nor was adoption. All of this has been an obligation.
abortion was fine is done in time, it is too late
You sound bipolar.
Honestly, not being funny, these type of radical irrational af highs and lows sound like bioplar…..you need meds, go talk to someone.