When I was younger (14-15) I would talk dirty to older men online. I usually cut it off before it went any further than nudes, but I met this one guy who lived a couple cities away from me one day. We kept in contact after me sending pictures and sexting him for awhile, we had video chats and did awful not okay stuff. I felt pressured at first to do it for him, but I eventually got used to it. One day he messaged me asking if we could meet up and do it in person, me, being the stupid and needy kid I was, said yes. I met him at some hotel and we had s**, I let him touch me and put his mouth all over me and I felt okay with this since no one else had ever wanted me like that. I felt dirty after awhile, we met up multiple times and it just got worse and worse. Eventually I stopped replying to him, I cut him out of my life so afraid and upset with myself because of what I had done. I fell into a deep hole, I didnt love myself anymore, I was lost and I couldnt tell anyone ever. Im only telling people online this now anonymously because I feel comfortable enough with what happened. I know what I did was wrong and I wish I could have told younger me it isnt worth it.
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Aww honey 🙁 I hope you get the support you need soon. I know it’ll be hard and scary to tell people what happened, but it would be easier to cope with support.
Hey, just as long as you know what you did was wrong, you’re good. Telling someone about it will make you feel a little better. You don’t specifically have to tell your parents, but I’m sure they would understand (unless you have a bad home life of course). You don’t have to internalize everything 🙂