I cheated on my boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend are in a really bad situation, we can’t see each other because he literally cannot go anywhere without his parents tracking his phone and he’s constantly busy. It’s been going on for 9 months and we only see each other less than once a week. We’ve been getting into millions of fights and one day I just decided to cheat. I decided to flirt and send nudes to a guy that went to my school. Then one day I couldn’t take hiding it from my boyfriend anymore. My boyfriend forgave me and I didn’t deserve his forgiveness no matter what the cause was. I didn’t have sex with the guy nor did anything with the guy but flirt and send nudes. Nothing was truly real, but I hurt my boyfriend so bad I couldn’t forgive myself so I started cutting again… (I used to cut all the time but stopped for 3 years). I cried so hard that I was giving myself stress and starving myself because of the guilt I held deeply. I then started to have a bloody nose and then I fainted and went to the hospital. My boyfriend didn’t believe me. He thought I was lying. I cried more and more until the guilt started consuming my happiness and love. It all soonly almost began to die and I just snapped. I snapped at my boyfriend how horrible he makes me feel about my guilt and how I’ve built a maze around him so he can never find me. These walls are filled with the sorrows and heart broken memories. I don’t deserve his love nor his forgiveness.

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