I have a guilt of deceiving my family. I left the academy without my family knowing it. I deceived my mom for spending all the money she worked hard for us. But I just spend it, almost 40k USD. I am such a sinful person, even my life wont be enough to pay all the disappointments that i gave to them. I am always their favorite of all the siblings, but i turned out to be a disappointment. If I can just turn back time, I would. I am now here, alone, nowhere to go, got no money left with me, jobless. I dont know what to do anymore. I wish I can turn back time, i wish that i can go back with my family. I wish I can pay all those money that I spent so I can show myself again to them. I am so ashamed of what i have become. I am such an idiot and useless person. But I still have my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, that whatever I am going through right now will pass too. I hope that one day I will be able to talk to my family again, not running away, not having this fear to be confronted with my sins. I wish I have the courage to face the consequences. Lord, I give you my life. Please, I know that you know whats best for me. Lead me the way. Ill follow you.

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