• 6 years ago
  • 298 Views

My grandmother made me feel very unwanted (by her) for a majority of my life. She would put 120% effort into staying connected and being involved in the lives of her other grandchildren (my cousins), nieces/nephews, and various other members of my family. But never me. She died earlier this year, and everyone in my family is mourning her and posting about how connected/close they were…. and I find myself feeling pretty indifferent. And it is awful; because I am supposed to be grieving/heartbroken but truthfully, I am okay. And the most I have mourned, is this grandmother that I wished I had (one who made me feel loved); but everyone thinks I am actually mourning the grandmother who rejected me.

All Comments

  • That is very sad. The saddest thing about your story is that there’s no way to change it. I’m sure she loved you just as much as the other grandchildren. Please don’t think it was your fault. I’ve found that some relatives (including grandmothers) treat the children according to their feelings toward the parent. I believe that my grandmother loved me and all of her grandchildren. She had 5 boys and 2 girls. She treated her 2 daughters children better than her 5 son’s children. This was because she did not get along with her daughter-in-laws. The confusion went back and forth. Sometimes it was the dils faults because they wouldn’t grant access to my cousins and sometimes it was my grandmother’s fault because she was mad at her dils. My grandmother flew across country to my cousin’s wedding but she did not attend my wedding and I live 5 miles away. She loved my dad but hated my mother (her dil). I never internalized this though. Holding grudges and trying to figure out why someone treated you wrong can take a toll on your mind. Try to move on and not let it destroy you. It will take some time for you to work through the unresolved issues you had with your grandmother but you can do it.

    Anonymous June 8, 2018 2:59 am Reply
    • ??

      Anonymous June 8, 2018 3:33 am Reply
  • Family can be assholes too
    Even a grdma ,you speak you mind, say your peace, back it with proof. If your mom can’t see your serious. Then
    Your going to have to make a decision. That means they are fake and can’t face what was going on ,denial hurts everyone. But you must stand strong .your feelings count just as much. Tell them you never got anything from her ,she ignored your existence. And it hurts!!!

    Anonymous June 8, 2018 3:24 pm Reply

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