I want to break free of p***. Do do that, I m********* while not fantisizing. However today I masturbated whilst weaing my wife’s p******, Something that felt wrong at the time and continues to feel wrong. Obviously, my wife does not know. I am ashamed, but do not want to reveal my secrets to my wife as it would (rightly) break her trust inme, and damage our relationship. However keeping it hidden means I am more likely to do it again.
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Does she know your are masturbating. Maybe you can get her to give you hand jobs regularly and you do not have to watch porn. Maybe you can explain to her that she turns you on so much that you are wanting to masturbate thinking of her and sometimes that includes her panties. I do not know what kind of relationship you have with your wife or what kind of person she is. But I wish you the best.