How am I supposed to top this? I still can’t even tell if you actually like me, or if you’re just trying to smother me with that passive-aggressive niceness that I know you’re so good at. Am I really so touch-starved that I can pull a complete 180 and go from hating you to liking you from just three hugs? I’m terrified of either outcome – either you ARE trying to bait me into voluntary submission, or you’re legitimately one of the kindest people I’ve ever met and I’ve been a mega bitch to you all year for absolutely no reason. I can’t even muster up the courage to write you a thank you note, despite you clearly deserving one.
Also fuck you for having such nice-smelling cologne.