• 2 years ago
  • 104 Views

How on Earth am I supposed to continue pretending that I’m not falling in love with you? It was today that I had my first ever piano duet, no sheet music, but just sitting by you, playing. I was almost lost in my head, my leg had an anxiety attack, it was whatever.

I’ve always wondered if that could happen to me, as a mediocre pianist, and you someone I essentially idolized. I go through these periods of insanity, you know? One minute I think you’re god, the next I remember your human.

Playing with you today has completely thrown this complex out of the window, and I’m at a loss. As of now it’s been more than 12 hours, and after we had to leave for lunch I couldn’t bear to look at you. It was nothing you did, but my excitement over the incident hasn’t worn off.

Never in my life would I have imagined to have such a pleasant experience, not needing to have to use words to communicate.

Back to the love part.

I don’t know if I’m falling in love or if I just desperately want to be friends. It’s a conflict, you know? Barely having ever had a full conversation with you and all. We share no mutual close friends, and the rest are in passing. There are 14 days left of this school year, and I don’t think I can bear the thought of having waited so long. There’s no reason you would like me, and by confessing this I’m essentially obsessed with you. I told myself over and over again, not to do it. And I never will. I won’t pursue anything with you, because we don’t know eachother like that. You like someone else.

And, well, you’re not gay.

Hehe, I liked the last bit for dramatic effect, but it’s true. You don’t really like guys, and that’s okay. Even if today would never happen again, I could never ask for more than to just be friends.

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