Don’t get pissed at me. I might be a real asshole when it comes to certain people and issues but we know exactly what made me that way right? It did shape my views, opinion, attitude and yeah that absolutely IS other peoples fault.
You know what a good solution would have been? Be the one to step up if you have the advantage of seeing me when I don’t you, grab a hold of me and hit me straight. I would’ve loved and appreciated you for it, instead of beating around the bush, like for example say you follow me on Facebook, and your picture is of you standing outdoors, it looks winter but holding your coat over your face from the eyes down. At the time, you know I’m trying to stay away from people, I’ve been fucked over a lot at that point, I disappear often. So you know this and you have me right there I even say to you “You are beautiful, do we know each other?” because I can tell just from your style, your clothing, what I can see of your hair and of course, you’re eyes. Now for some reason I see this woman as beautiful. She is my type for some reason I can’t even see her entire face, there is something about her aura, I wonder why? She has something I look for and it’s beautiful to me. You know I need someone, why wouldn’t you speak up? Instead of saying “no” say yes, it’s me, and we can proceed from there how ever lightly we want to tread on something that is something to me anyway, I honestly don’t know if it’s a power thing with you? To me the “power” was not nefarious. I wasn’t writing it off. I wasn’t doing it to hold power. Part of me wanted you to feel it, I did, I didn’t even have much of a choice anyway, and any other time I walked away it hurt me slightly too, even though I still think it was right. I didn’t want to ruin it, but I was wrong thinking there would be another opportunity, and really there was, more than one I think even still. Maybe I should have. I went off there but my point is you see me, you know it’s me, I ask you, you say no, that’s alright, but I don’t know, you could be anyone, for no reason, but I’m not thinking “is that her?” I’m just thinking it’s a pretty women. So when I get too many undesirables, I close the account not thinking twice about pretty woman, who is actually pretty important to me, because I don’t know it’s you. You have to talk. Do you think I don’t feel the same? Are you afraid? You’re interested in me because I’m special to you too.
I don’t know what to say. You can still find me by looking up that clip. What bugs me is I really am not the bad guy. I know that, I take responsibility for anything I ever am wrong about, I’m the first, I’m not innocent. I don’t know if you were just afraid, you didn’t know how I felt about it, if I felt about it, so YOU used people to kick my ass mentally? I would much rather you just said something direct to me and we could get on with making love. I can’t think of anything better. Especially then.