I just need to get this out of my heart. I raped someone when I was 22. Since then, my life has been a misery. I’m just tired of having a p**** and s***** urges and being abused by my wife for having them. She makes all the s***** rules, she loves to see me beg like a dog when I want to have s**, she has told me I’m no good, no one loves me except her, and she has physically hurt my p**** to the point it has had bruises on it. I love her so much, can’t she see that? Every day, I hold her and kiss her for an hour. I just wish she would treat me like a human when I want s** instead of some animal. I either want to kill myself or cut off my p****. Maybe if I didn’t have a p****, people wouldn’t be so afraid of me. I want to love and form meaningful relationahips, too. I was just on the suicide helpline and once I told her I raped someone, she didn’t even want to talk anymore.
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In other words you Still feel entitlement when it comes to sex.
She is punishing your sorry ass for rape. Hope she cuts your pathetic dick off and feeds it to the dog.
I hope she does exactly that to you, OP. you deserve it.
Cut sex out of the picture for a while. A SIGNIFICANT while. Take a break, and tell her that you’re in need of an emotional reset, and tell her that you feel like you’ve been neglected. If she doesn’t want to hear you out, ask for a bit of time and confess your rape to a friend, a mentor, or a professional that you trust and just work out your thoughts on everything. Please don’t resort to suicide. There’s a lot of beauty in this world, and there can be so much more to your life than the hell it currently is. Easier said than done, I know, but do believe me.
you should look into mens behavioural change counsellors. even if you’re not abusing anyone any more, they are people who are experienced in dealing with men who have committed rape, they will have compassion for you as long as you are willing to be held accountable for the damage to the person or people you hurt. as for your wife, maybe you are projecting or maybe she is abusive, it’s not uncommon for people to end up in abusive situations after causing harm to others because they feel they don’t deserve better. if your wife is really harming you and your relationship is really unhealthy, a counsellor will help you. if it’s not, they’ll make sure you know that, too.