Public m***********

This one is for you who think girls can’t c**. I’m a girl and everytime I m********* I can have about 3 or 4 consecutive orgasms. The second one is usually better than the first one, but then they start to get weaker and weaker. It comes to a point where the payoff isn’t worth the job at all, and then I have two options:
1- Stop (usually what I choose)
2- Continue and hurt myself

(Sorry for bad English, I’m doing my best)

This habit started when I was about 13. As a kid, I liked to search for ponies on the internet (from the cartoon), and guess what I found? Pony p***. These pictures make me “feel” a different way, a feeling I had only felt before when I read a comic book. In this comic, a man beat the protagonist, a kid, on the b*** (a common form of punishment for kids where I live), and somehow I thought that was s*****. I don’t think I knew how s** really worked, but the feeling was so addictive. It felt good, but it was like I could never get what I really wanted. Eventually I forgot about that until the pony stuff. It was the same feeling. I remember spending a lot of time just feeling like I were torturing myself, when I finally managed to o*****. It felt so good I didn’t even know it was possible.

It took some time for me to get the hang of it. Somehow I understood that I shouldn’t do it in public, but I had no idea what that was. So, when I thought nobody would be able to see me and I felt like doing it, I just proceeded. If someone showed up, whatever! I wouldn’t stop, not no close.

Just to make it clear, the way I m********* isn’t the way most girls do. I don’t have to take my clothes off, put a hand inside my pants or even open my legs. Still, it doesn’t look normal and anyone who’s already masturbated would know what I was doing.

There were times when I let people see me. Remembering now, I feel so embarrassed I want to bury my head in the ground.

List of people who saw me: My dad, my mom, my twin sister (multiple times), my uncle, my cousin and about three strangers.

I still remember the most embarrassing moment I went through. Maybe the most embarrassing moment in my life.

I was sitting at a table, at the club I used to practice sports. I felt like m***********, so I looked around. There was my sister sitting next to me, and a table in front of us. In front of the table, there were a couple and, behind them, a bunch of boys playing table tennis. In my mind I could get by without being spotted. The bench I was sitting on started shaking, so it was kind of loud. The couple noticed first. The girl looked at her boyfriend and whispered something to him. The next ones to notice were the boys in the background. One of them yelled at me: “Does it feel good??” or something like that. As soon as the moment passed I realized what I’d just done. I felt like never coming back to that place again, and started avoiding the table tennis boy.

All of them noticed, but my sister didn’t. The fact is: She’d never masturbated, so she didn’t know what I was doing. She didn’t realize it until I told her, a few years later. Her reaction was okay, but she still thought it was weird. She also told me she had never had na o*****, what must be simply horrible. The fact is, as she doesn’t know how it feels, she doesn’t miss it. She had no reason to lie to me, so I believe her.

In the meantime, I tried to stop m***********. But like, for real. My plan was spending six months without it, start it again, and then finish for real. To start with, this was a terrible plan. I ended up m*********** in the living room, with my parentes and sister around (none of them noticed), using my foot. I was less than a month away from completing my first goal. I felt dissapointed with myself. It was the longest time I spent without it.

When I first had s**-ed classes, I realized what I’ve been doing the whole time. Like, it must be it. The description was almost exactly how it felt like. If m*********** isn’t that, then nothing else is.

Growing up, I had to hear my female colleages saying that boys who masturbated were ok, but girls were kind of weird. I felt abnormal, and I would never admit it to them. I wonder how many girls went through the same problem. I had to hear my own sister say that m*********** was weird, before I told her about me.

With time, I stopped doing it in public. Now I had a better idea of what to do, and I gained some self control.

I must tell you, I didn’t lack any education. I was a normal girl with a normal decent life, born in a religious family. It just happened. Now I’m not religious anymore, but I’m still considered by many a pretty serious person. I have never got drunk, despite being at legal drinking age. I would never smoke, and I have never had s** (of any tipe). I still want to marry someone and spend the rest of my life with them.

I tried to stop m*********** several times because of religious beliefs. Later on, I stopped blaming myself as according to many of my fonts it was okay. Even if it weren’t, I would be okay by now. I’m really self-assured.

My biggest fear is that, in future relationships, I don’t feel s******* satisfied. Because I’m so used to having pleasure myself, I think nothing my partner does will ever going to surprise me. Just a big amount of trouble because I’m so good with my hands.

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