• 4 months ago
  • 2 2

i have a ton of weird sexual fetishes or kinks or whatever you call them and some of them are i guess normal. but, for years i’ve had feelings when i see certain things and i dont know what to call it. im sure everyone’s heard about toxic people and relationships and mental abuse and things like that, so i may have a thing for stuff like that. of course i’d never attempt to hurt anyone in any way but i’ve always liked that idea of me going back in time to be 3-7 years old and playing on a playground, my mom going to the restroom and a handsome, tall stranger telling me that he has puppies or candy or icecream in his car and i hold his hand and go with him. he then takes me to his house and puts me in my dream room with baby things like a pretty pink crib with soft, big, fluffy frilly blankets and all the toys that i could ever ask for and themed diapers and cute girly princess outfits. then i would have to listen to him and only him. i was going to be his little girl. a golden and light pink collar was placed around my neck with the name “princess” on it. he then tells me sweet things, how much he loves me, how much im such a good girl, that i’ll get a tasty treat if i listen to him and if i don’t he’ll send me to a horrible place and he won’t love me anymore. and i disobey him. he then gives me bruises everywhere and im sobbing quietly with my pacifier in my mouth in the dark cold basement a sickly sweet baby doll song playing something like the beginning of “suicide hour” on youtube. he comes down the stairs and tells me im his baby girl while taking me by the collar of my onesie with lust in his eyes and there’s no one around that’ll hear me crying and if i try to push him away, it’ll only hurt worse plus i wouldn’t get to eat. i really need help but i’m too scared to tell anyone. please don’t be mad at me, i just can’t help myself from thinking these things and i can’t stop them even if i try. it’s always just been a slight little feeling in me ever since i was a kid and i never knew what it was called. as a kid i was already perverted even though my mom and family kept sex and fetishes secret from me and i’ve never been in a relationship nor have i ever been sexually assulted or raped ever in my life, not even abused or hit or spanked so i don’t know where all of this comes from. i don’t know what to do anymore.

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