• 3 months ago
  • 1 1

She’s the same girl every-time. Every-time shes the one I want, but she wants nothing to do with me. Sometimes she’s a fox, agile and nimble. Other times she’s a mountain in the distance. Her curves sweeping through the valley like that of a swan. She is in my dreams beckoning me forward- to live out my own life, to settle, to slow down, to accept other than the ideal. Six years, silence. Six years, writing another painful I miss you letter. Six years, without a single view of your beautiful face. Six years, without your laugh. How could I acted differently? How could I have maneuvered my tiny pawn better? How could I have made the wiser choice? How could I have awoken that spark in you? I slip further into sadness and I try to put you out of my mind…but every time, but every time, I remember you. I prayed to God that I would never forget you. He resoundingly answered, but that blessing comes at a deep, deep cost.
Is this how widows feel? To lose the partner of a lifetime? I put my mind to the potential, that you are still out there, still laughing, still smiling, and still bringing others joy. Maybe in 20 years I’ll see you again…maybe in 40 years…
Either way, I do know one thing, I will always love you.

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