I want to be a s***, and be gangbanged, and used roughly, but I’m not nearly adventurous enough to go out of my way to find guys willing to do it and not kill me or blackmail me or ruin my life. I’ve been fantasizing about being date raped, have some guy drug me, so I can wake up twelve hours later in a bathtub full of j*** and piss, with a sore a******, in a hotel room wallpapered with pictures of me being abused by guys, dogs, and horses.
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Fantasies are fun. This one sounds great. Even though you might never attain a literal experience like this, you can absolutely find people who are also into what you’re into, so you can build trust with them and (safely) play out some of your fantasies.