I am so greatful for the success I’ve enjoyed over the last four years. My 3-bedroom loft in Brooklyn is done just the way I like it, with lots of wood and metal and iron, and I love having 2-8 guests over so I can cook us meals and have a jam afterwards because most of my pals are world-class musicians. I love going on the talk shows and seeing my book sales spike, and it’s nice to have a best-seller that’s just been optioned for a movie and I don’t have to work again as long as I live unless I feel like it. I love my chubby wife more than I can stand it, and we’re going to Maui for a month January 1st. I love buying Christmas presents for kids without parents, and I also went around to all the War-Marts recently in my county and paid off everyone’s layaways. I look forward to giving at least half my money away to charities and foundations and trying to make the world a better place. I also love to volunteer 20-30 hours a week teaching kids to read.

Sigh…that’s my fantasy.

• Share on Facebook