I met him 9 months ago and told him I was gay 5 ago. He’s the son of my mom’s cousin and identifies as straight, I’ve been growing more and more attracted to him and it’s hard, ‘cause I don’t think I ever had a friend like him. He always calls me through the week to talk about nothing, every weekend we go out together and I help him get girls, we come home together and sleep in each other’s house.
No. I don’t think he’s interested in me. No. I don’t want tips on how to seduce him. No. I’d never do that! I don’t wanna spoil our friendship and we are such good friends, we’ve traveled together 4 times already and one time I was really jealous of him with my other cousin, who’s also “straight” but I don’t know, just felt SOMETHING. He’s never had gay experiences, not that he shared – and he shared lots.

But.

Last week he was going away in front of his mom and my uncle and I high fived him – he embraced me and kissed my neck 4 times in a peck kiss. I was fighting my uncle before that and maybe he wanted to comfort me, show that he was there… But that was really hard for me because now I cannot stop m*********** over him, I fantasize about him, kissing and touching him, OMG help. He’s so attractive and kind to me but no girl ever seem to see that. And then he kissed me on the cheek the other night we went out and a girl asked us if we got it on with each other – “he’s the man”, he said. “He’s my brother, a true one, I’d never ever!”, I lied.

Just needed to let it out. I won’t do anything to him but I just fantasize, it’s no harm IMO. He’s talked about guys who hit on him and it really offends him, cause to him it means he seems gay. I think he’s got some work to do about his s******** and no, I’m not thinking about us, it’s just for his own happiness – I guess he truly is attracted to a few guys sometimes. He deserves to be happy!

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