• 6 years ago
  • 386 Views

I want to stop taking my meds, i want to stop going to therapy.. I miss the feeling of being on top of the world, in control and feeling the flow of life around me on a different lvl then anyone else during manic episodes with my bipolar. That exhilaration of tapping in, regardless of experience or not being better then anyone in competition, romance, work etc. Its not just a feeling, the results are there for me to prove it.. Tradeoff is the crippling lvls of sadness and depression nearly at the lvl of greiving for a loved one and being worse then everyone regardless of experience or hours put in on my downswings. But oh was it worth it compared to this medicated stupor of side affects and mood stabilizers that make me a zombie but still not functional..

All Comments

  • I used to feel this way about mine, now I am terrified of having another. I had a horrible psychotic episode and I tried to get on a bus to anywhere. The plan was to kill myself if I didn’t do everything the universe (voice in my head) told me to do. I saw demons crawling on my ceiling. I felt like I was in the passenger’s side of my own body while someone else was driving. It wasn’t fun. I would do anything to not feel that out of control of my own body again. I am so afraid that my medicine will stop working. I used to chase that high, even the crippling depressive episodes afterwards were so worth t.

    Anonymous March 25, 2018 5:25 pm Reply
  • What Medications are you on?

    Anonymous March 25, 2018 9:23 pm Reply

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