Over a year ago you left

Over a year ago you left me. I felt dead then. My whole life was crumbling. School sucked. My cousin was dying. Inside, I was dying. I kept feeling more and more alone. I tried to reach out. You promised you would help me. And you mind-fucked me then you dropped me. I was your only friend and held you down when you needed it. But when I needed someone more then ever, you turned the other way and refused to watch me struggle to survive. The fact never changed that your life was going good and I was far enough away that you wouldn’t see me ever again unless you wanted to. I didn’t want to hold you back though. You clearly had become unhappy with me long before things started to go wrong on my side of the fence. You were just too scared to say it; you weren’t sure if you still needed me or not. When it was clear you didn’t, you decided it was safe for me to know you didn’t love me anymore.

Well, I’ve climbed out of all that. And I’ve done it without you. But that doesn’t make me miss you any less on a night like tonight. It’s been a messy year and I’ve done a few people wrong just to see how it felt. I’ve also been done wrong by a few more people that helped me see you aren’t the only one who will hurt me. It’s true what they say though; the first love lost will always sting the most.

You’ll probably never see this but it feels so good to finally say it all anyways.

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