I’ve begged to be homeschooled this year and i slacked off this whole year been crying this whole time cause I’m such a failure, and only have 3 months to finish a whole year of school… I want to kill myself for being such an idiot.. I cant handle the guilt of my parents .. Saying i told you so… I feel like if they just hint it that i’m a failure i’ll throw myself off a cliff.
I was an above average student in my unhomeschooled life and now i feel like such an idiot. This week i’ve finished a whole subject… But i still feel like such a useless failure…
I cant handle the pressure im sure if i dont finish by the 3 months i’ll kill myself.
And with my extremely, strict, annoyingly ‘perfect’ at everything ironically asian family. i never last the judgement in my life.
All Comments
I’m in the same predicament. I have the strictest indian parents like I was grounded for an entire summer because of an A- in Geometry AC even though I still had a 4.0. The next year I got an A- in French and I his it by photoshopping my report card. After that my life went on a downward spiral. To my parents anything less than a 4.0 was unacceptable. A 2.7 and a 3.98 were the same to them. My grades kept getting worse and worse and so did my dissillusionment with life and school. I kept slipping & procrastinating until I got a Bs and Cs. Now I’m at a 3.74 and my parents still think I have a 4.0. I’ve held the lies together for so long but I’ve a terrible feeling it’s going to blow up in my face. They expect me to get into Harvard and Yale and Stanford and Columbia but the chances are slim. Even if they never find out about my grades, I don’t know if I’ll be able to face them if I don’t get into an Ivy League school next year. If I can’t get in, then I might kill myself as well because I can’t stand the relentless judgement either. Wer’re young and it’s unfair to punish us for the rest of our lives for the indiscretions of our youth. We’re not people anymore just numbers. A social security number to the government. A student ID number to the school district. And a GPA and test score number to colleges.
Parents can be brutal, I’m sorry that the both of you have to go through that.
But suicide is a complete last-ditch escape, I promise you both there are other ways.
I know that talking to your parents will probably do nothing, but perhaps you can move out early with some understanding friends. Parents like yours only push their offspring away, and it’s a shame too.
Life is unfortunately harder than it needs to be, thanks to greed and willful ignorance, but don’t give in. I know it’s difficult and school is demeaning.
I’m 20 and living with my dad and stepmom waiting for the state to authorize my therapy for school. I feel useless and depressed and I know that once I’m done with school my life will be monotonous and dull, but without it I have little to no chance of making the world a better place for future generations, and at making a happier life for myself.
Best of luck to you both, you’re in my thoughts.