It’s not a happy dream. It might be depressing to some. I have a dream of death. Suicide, pain, and death. I’ve always been fascinated with blood. The thought of killing anything excites me. That’s the reason I started cutting. I like watching the blood drip down. Hell, some nights I even rub the blood all over myself. They put me in a psychiatric hospital for attempted suicide and attempted murder. They thought what they did helped. It only made s*** worse. To this day I despise them all. My friends treat me differently. My family even treats me differently. And each day I have huge bursts of rage from no where and I’m scared, yet excited, that I might hurt someone. Just needed to get this out. Please continue with your day.
And Blessed Be.
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the thought of stabbing someone and twisting the knife, knowing im the one in complete control mades me so excited. i want to see the blood trickle down there body and see their expression as their life leaves their worthless vessel. i have these cravings and i dont know what to do about them. sorry.
Oh man, did I have those cravings HARD. I had this thing where I just wanted to bite and eat people. I would think about just tearing a piece of their body off with my teeth. Aaaah the thought still puts me in a good mood.. BUT NO!! I’m getting past that now!
Trust me I was the worst of the worst and now I’m trying to just get past that. I had to remove myself from a shitty living area to get out of that mind set. And when I say shitty, I mean I went from my very nice two story family home to a ghetto shitty studio and yet I was finally able to clear my mind. Just try and figure out where you anger is steaming from and CUT it. For me I was literally being driven insane by the family. If you’re in the same situation and you’re old enough now, move out, take some time for yourself to really just constantly think things out. You’ll be okay. These urges are fun and normal but keep them close and remember not to act on them. I almost lost a very good friend..