I’m a Christian. And I had

  • 10 years ago
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I’m a Christian. And I had s**. I didn’t mean to let it happen, but it was so in the moment and I wanted it too. And now I’m thinking or trying to persuade myself that it’s just an old fashioned, out-dated custom just like stoning and beheading and all that…

I was raised to believe I had to save myself for marriage. And I still believe it. Heck, I completely support that idea. I wish I was stronger. I still feel so guilty… but I can’t seem to say no. He’s my first for everything, dating, kissing, holding hands. He’s my best friend and I’m so happy. I can’t imagine my life without him.
But he’s impulsive, and I love that about him, but it also means he likes to get what he wants. He knows how torn I am about what we do… but he knows how to get me in the mood…. and I can’t say no at that point because I probably want it more than him.

I can’t tell my friends or family how far we’ve gone… I was always the responsible one, the calm, levelheaded one that looked down on sleeping around. And now I know. It’s awful isn’t it? I really enjoy it, he’s gotten so good (we were each other’s firsts) and I can’t resist.

I think I’ve almost gotten over the shame and guilt in going against my morals. I think positing this, even anonymously, will help. Sorry for the long essay.

All Comments

  • I’m also a Christian and I have had plenty of sex from before I was saved. Stop now. Just stop. Trust me it is a battle. A battle I have been fighting for two and a half years now. The girls that I was with; their faces are in my head every time I hold my girlfriends hand. Their voices in my head all the time. The sexual temptation is only harder now that I know what it feels like, and I am bringing all of this into a relationship with a virgin.

    This behaviour WILL cause problems in your marriage (should that happen) and will take lots of time and energy to overcome.

    Tell someone, I know you said you couldn’t but you have to. Everyone screws up, that is half of being Christian, you aren’t perfect and that is what Christ died for. Tell someone, get help, by yourself or as a couple.

    Anonymous March 28, 2014 5:07 am Reply
  • i agree with comment 1.

    Anonymous April 3, 2014 2:53 pm Reply

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