I was dating this guy for 5 months and we got really close. It was to the point where we were always together. He became my best friend and I became his. But while I was away on family vacation in Florida he was at camp. We couldn’t talk much on the phone while he was there and texting was pointless because he would take so long to reply. I didn’t think much of it because when we talked on the phone it would break up, so I thought it was the signal. A couple days before I came back he called me. I was excited because I hadn’t heard his voice in so long and I had so much to tell him that I was talking a storm and he wasn’t really saying much, but even when I wasn’t saying anything neither was he.
So finally I stopped and asked what was wrong.. He kept saying “Nothing I’m just thinking.” I asked what about and he said “My feelings for you.” At that moment I felt my heart drop.. “What about your feelings for me?” I asked, he replied “I think I’ve lost feelings for you.” I hung up the phone while I got my thoughts together. I was thinking a thousand thoughts a second. “How could he say that?!”, “Its probably because he hasn’t seen me in so long”, “What if he cheated or likes someone else..” Then he called again. I picked up ready to have questions answered. “Are you okay?” He asked as if he didn’t know I wasn’t, “No!” I answered angrily. “What do you mean you lost feelings for me?” “I don’t know I just don’t feel the same anymore..” he said. “Is there someone else?” I asked. “No!” He answered quickly. “How long have the feelings been gone? While I’ve been in Florida or before I left?” I asked scared of what he might say. “Before.” He said. “Like even when we were together?” “Yes.” He answered. Every question he answered broke my heart more and more. Until I couldn’t take anymore, then I told him I was going to hang up. He said okay. Then we didn’t speak again.
The pain that I felt that night and that I still feel 2 months later is horrible. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I’ve only felt one pain worse than this, and it was waking up to find out my mom-ma passed away while I was asleep. Just to think that was only my first heart break really s****. It’ll be a while before I even think of loving again. I still think about him, and occasionally I dream about him. Because he was my first love, and will always be my first love.
