I have been thinking about death for the past several weeks. I am not planning my suicide. There are no tools picked, nor date chosen.
But the thought of death is a comfort.
I hate the idea of hurting those that I love. But sometimes the pain of putting one foot in front of the other is just so heavy a burden that I don’t know if I can keep doing it.
I keep telling myself that I just have to get through another day, another hour, another minute, that there are those that depend on me.
I am terrified of the day when no one will depend on me anymore. I am terrified that then I will no longer have a reason to fight.
I want to die. I am so exhausted. But I have to fight. I cannot hurt the people I love.
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I know that feeling so well…I felt that terrible pain in my soul, but kept struggling, and eventually recovered. Think about your loved ones, and all the things you could do for them, and for yourself.
Are you on meds or seeing a therapist? That could really help you.
Also, if you have any religious beliefs, stick to them. It’ll bring that much needed comfort to your soul.
Never give up!
Don’t give up.