I feel like s*** that I

I feel like s*** that I can’t cry over the deaths of loved ones. Never have I cried after someone close to me has passed. The closest ones were my dog, then one of my best friends, and now my beloved cat. And I haven’t cried over any of them. I had forced myself to cry at some times, but it’s not genuine. It’s not grieving, it’s just for the sake of crying.
I’m not one of those people who can’t cry, though. I cry over stupid things like myself, emotional movies, and whatnot.
I know crying isn’t for everyone while grieving, but the fact that I can cry and that I haven’t cried for anyone really bothers me and makes me feel like a scumbag.
I am even worried that I may not have accepted anyone’s death yet. I feel in the back of my mind that I’m not ready to believe it.

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