• 7 years ago
  • 132 Views

please, i need your opinions. i feel so sad with this “best friend” of mine or maybe i should say frienemy of mine. (btw i study in all girls school and i live in a foreign country so during school breaks we will travel back to our hometown.) OKAY SO, we’ve been close for almost 3 years or so. the first time we became “best friends” was on our 7th grade (that time it was my second year of being a transferee in school and it was her seventh year so it’s expected that she’s already really close with others) and we’re very close for like 5 months? then we parted our ways bc i know it sounds dramatic but yeah but she joined this group of friends WITHOUT ME (but now we’re on the same group of friends) i was really hurt so i looked for someone who i can lean on. FAST FORWARD TO our 9th grade, that was when we became legit best friends AGAIN bc of kpop but not until on December when everything started changing. we fought bc i blocked her on messenger but it was bc i was just joking(then she took it seriously). so after 2 days, she stopped talking to me in school so i decided to do the same thing. i know it was MY fault and I TRIED to confront her but she keeps on avoiding me. one of our friends knew about it and only the two of them talked about our problem in private. then one time she cried during our English class so our friends knew about our fight. (but since im a coward person, they dont even know i cried bc of her on my school bus while hiding behind the curtains and sometimes at my house bc i dont want them to know about it). our exam week have passed but we still didn’t even talked to each other. BUT THEN 2 days before our winter break, my family and i are going to travel back to our hometown so i decided to made it up with her then we’re alright again. FAST FORWARD AGAIN TO our 10th grade, she didn’t talked to me for the first week straight but i have no idea what the hell was going on why did she do that. i was super mad and sad i didn’t know what to do anymore. i know I’m super dramatic but IT F****** S****! the difference whenever she’s with somebody else than she’s with me has a really wide gap. lately, i can see she’s happier with them but not with me anymore. jealousy. u know that feeling when you’re mad bc of that person then you’ll see them laughing and having fun makes u wanna curse so loud to them? that’s how i feel lately. back then i can still say we’re very very close bc we’re always together, going out together, eating and laughing together, keeping each other’s secret only between the two of us, and many other things. BUT it’s not like that anymore because she’s not telling me her secrets, she won’t go anywhere with me, she wont choose me whenever she’s choosing who’s she wanna be with and i just noticed she’s the only person in our class who will distance herself with me out of nowhere and that makes me sad. most of the time, the only content in our chat box are links that we send each other. then our conversations are always about kpop and that’s all. nothing more, nothing less. i miss those times when we used to talk all the time about random things but seem like it can’t happen anymore. also, since we’re seatmates, there are times i wont talk for the whole day in class. i shouldn’t be saying this but i hate her. i dont know if it will still be fine to treat her as my “bestfriend” bc it’s hard since we’re on the same group of friends. i didn’t know how to feel when she greeted me on the national bestfriends day because i feel like she’s already found her new “best friend” so i asked myself what’s the point of that greeting if i cant even feel the sincerity in her words? i dont know what to do anymore. i just wanna cry and stay sad. this is also one of the reasons why i wanna transfer school on my own country hoping to find a brighter and happier life.

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