What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on!
What does every birthday end with? The letter Y.
What does bread do on vacation? Loaf around.
What does a book do in the winter? Puts on a jacket.
What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs.
Love this: What happened when the skunk was on trial? The judge declared, “Odor in the court, odor in the court!”
How do pickles enjoy a day out? They relish it.
“Adorable” What did the astronaut say when he crashed into the moon? “I Apollo-gize.”
Why was the computer cold? It had a virus.
What has lots of leaves but never actually grew? A book!
Where do fish keep their money? In the River-Bank!
What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.
What kind of award did the dentist receive? A little plaque.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
LOVE THIS: Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
Where do homosexuals keep their money? Sperm banks.
Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencil-vania.
What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
HAPPY belated ST. PATRICKS DAY What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
Where do vampires keep their money? A blood bank.
LOVE THIS ONE: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
Which city does Paw Patrol like the most? New Yorkie.
How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night!
What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
PERSONAL FAVORITE: How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
How do baby cats learn how to swim? The kitty pool.
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you
What do you call a ghost’s true love? His ghoul-friend.
What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow!
What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced? About a buck an ear.
Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her parents were in a jam.
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
What do you call a duck that gets all A’s? A wise quacker.
What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don’t take me for granite!
What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast from the past.
What has lips and can’t talk? a Tulip 😀
What kind of lion doesn’t roar? A dandelion.