I’m obsessing about this guy I barely knew but I have a boyfriend and we’re in a long distance relationship. We’ve been together for almost 5 years. This whole idea I’m confessing about started when I met up with a mutual friend who lives in the same continent as my boyfriend. She came over for a visit and had a good time with her and her hubby, One of the things we talked about was how my other siblings are still single. She suggested that I tell my other sister and brother about this dating site. Of course, Im not going to let my siblings know about this dating site but thought about seeing it for myself. I was up for it mainly because of boredom. So, I went for it. I targeted expats in the area because they could use my help. At least, that’s what I have figured. It was okay at first. I started talking to random people, the guys were sweet and always would say the nicest things. Then, I happen to constantly chatted and exchanged numbers with this guy who is temporarily here for his studies. Since we constantly chatted, I looked over his photos on his page a lot because I really didn’t want to waste my time to one person whom I may not be physically attracted to and yes, this works for me even if I am only looking for friends. I just thought his looks was Below Average to Average and most probably very tall. I was not really sure if I liked him physically but I did like how he kept our conversation going. He asked me to meet him multiple times but I always refused because I was always tired. But then, the day finally came when I got completely available and he was too. I was not very excited and also, too scared because he is a complete stranger and an expat which I didn’t really have a clue how things will go. I was late for 2 hours because I slept hard that day and was hesitant to see him, even attempted to cancel the whole meeting. Something was really pulling me back from meeting him. I didn’t even fix myself too much and wore a broken pair of sandals. I was really not acting myself that night. Also, had low expectation. I arrived at our meeting destination. I went on the other side of the street because I wanted to see him first before he sees me. I was being playful but also, dead serious because I thought he was a really tall guy and you know, it’s really hard to escape or disappoint huge guys. I was half scared and excited. So, back to the story, he picked up his phone and put it on his ears so to recognize him. I dropped the line and walked across the street. My overall impression of him was surprisingly untrue. He was not a very tall man nor a below average. This guy is a complete hottie for my standards. Also, realized the moment that I hated myself so much for not being so prepared and expected low from this guy. I was a fail but he wasn’t. He was playing it cool, smiled a lot, told many short stories that I could relate to and paid for the bill (which I totally disagreed and mentioned a long explanation so he would let us share the bill). The guy barely touched his food which made me not finish mine. The date didn’t take long, we did also stopped by a bar before we called the night. It’s time for everyone to go home. I asked him if he could drop me by the bus stop because he brought his car with him. He was totally cool with it. In his car, we chatted a bit, there was dead silence, and most of the time I tried to show him some directions that might help him in the future (but really, since I don’t go out of my room, I have no idea what I was saying to him). We arrived shortly at my stop. He started playing music (song by Ed Sheeran called, “Shape of you”). Before I stepped out of his car, he made a hand gesture which meant to say “give me a peck on this cheek”.I thought it was sweet to give him a little peck. So, I did. I’m not going to give more details of what happened on the next days of our meetings because clearly, I was doing it to prove I’m bad a**. The guy I’m dating didn’t know about my boyfriend and I’m dying to tell him all about it because really, I just want to be his friend but then, s** happened. We make out every time at his place whenever we meet and I always keep my phone off so no one would know where I am or disturb me. Also, the “Find Friends” app on my phone. I am a mess and now, I’m completely obsessing over this guy I had been romanticizing for the past few months, didn’t understand a thing he talks about with his array of friends (speaks a different language when I’m around), liking the s** a lot, drinks with him and his friends, and I’m not myself. Funny thing here is I know things will not work out (1. different religion 2. culture 3. language, etc.) even if I show or not show myself to this guy in the future (we’re not seeing each other for a month or so because of silent treatment), I’m completely cool with it because, I have a life and he does to, only different. I don’t know really anything about him, so I guess I’m sticking around for s**. it’s going to be hard as a human being to ignore all of this. Sometimes, I guess I should just use my intellectual, get over with it and stop being a loser. Do I like him? Yes, I do but I’m not stupid by pushing too hard. Then, what do I mean by obsessing? It’s the s**, really that I’m obsessed about, Without this guy, I wouldn’t have a lot of it. Does he like me? No. 100%. I know that for a fact because I feel it. I can even tell which type of girls he would prefer f******. It’s crystal clear, how things are going and I’m not completely happy about it because a spell was casted upon me and it s****. I hope I get this over much sooner, please! Also, thank you for taking time reading my story.

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