23-02-10(0:58:29)

I’m trying not to think about him, but I can’t get him out of my head.

He hurt me really bad; I really liked him and he knew this even though I never said it to him, he knew it.

2 weeks ago he was acting weird and that day I was feeling down, I guess I knew what was coming. He tells me he has to talk to me and he asks what’s bothering me, but I really had no idea what it was that bothered me. First he told me that he knew I liked him, but he didn’t want anything more and I was totally fine with that. I wasn’t looking for a relationship I was looking for a person to spen time with and have fun with.

The week before I told him about how the really bad quality of a guy are those who are dishonest. I told him the story about this guy who led me on and in the end we ended up not being friends at all. He said, “I’m not one of those guys, I’m not a jerk, I won’t do that to you…Ima be straight up.” Lies. He contradicted himself, he became the jerk, he is such a hypocrite. Ugh it gets me so angry.

He led me on; he kissed me, held my hand, took me out…what the hell was that? It pretty much seemed like he liked me. And when he said he just wanted to be friends I just felt so stupid.

How could I be so naive, so stupid to believe him. It’s always hard for me to trust people for this kind of reason, I hate getting hurt and the one time I begin to let a person in he hurts me. I felt used, like he only called when he needed company or someone to talk to, but when I wanted to hang out he had to make up some lame excuse…psh…whatever.

And then he goes off telling me that he is actually hung up on some one else…WOW…thank you, that is exactly what I want to hear right now.

I held in my tears and I told him he could leave if he had somewhere to be, and he did leave. Right when he left I let out my tears and listened to music and read my book. He still wants to be friends but no matter how unawkward he wants it to be it’s still gonna be awkward no matter what. I avoided him for the first few days if last week but on thursday I saw him and said hi and we talked for a bit…it was awkward. I’m gonna try my best to be his friend, but i can’t gurantee anything.

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