A year back, we started out as friends, became best friends, everything was so simple, so easy, I developed somewhat of a love for him 6 months back, but never expressed it in fear of pushing him away. I hid it knowing there was no chance for me and him together (heck, I always viewed him as a brother), but I always cared more, I asked about him more, I’ve always been the one to patch things up when they got tense despite it being his fault, to sum it up, I’ve always been there for him, and him not as much. I feel my heart clenching when I think of the pain it causes me, the hurt I feel cannot be described. I was stupid enough to tell him about it 3 days ago, he was shocked, and saddened that that’s how I felt (cuz he’s been through “one-sided-love” as well, and it breaks him) I wasn’t heart-broken, not even slightly because it was no surprise. I’ve always told myself being friends is better than nothing at all. Telling him was worth taking the chance, I mean, who knows, he probably had a crush on me too… But I was mistaken, instead of it bringing us closer together, I feel that I truly have scared him away. I’ve been feeling really down for the past 3 days, and he hasn’t asked about me once. My throat is tight with pain the whole day, I cry myself to sleep, and my heart is aching. Because I’ve always CARED more, and I’m getting nothing in return.
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I’ve been on the other side of this situation, and honestly, one can’t help being scared. because for one thing you do actually care a lot for that person and it’s devastating to have to hurt him/her by saying no. and then there’s always a worry deep down that if you do get back together as friends, even the tiniest gesture of affection might accidentally be misunderstood as something more, and then we get the whole cycle of crushing a friend’s dreams all over again. if you truly think you can be around him, and just be friends, try to convince him of this fact. tell him quite honestly that you really do like him, but if he does not wish to reciprocate in kind, you’re ok with just being friends, because you don’t want to lose him. but if you cannot do that, your friendship will deteriorate into something very awkward, that neither one wishes to break off. sit down, take some time, and think, if you still want him in your life, although not the way you wished for. if you’re certain you want him as a friend, go for it. otherwise, painful as it is, you must move on. there will be other people, have faith 🙂
Good luck!
I’m positive I can deal with him as a best friend, that’s how it’s always been, but deep inside I wished for more. Still, that didn’t change my feelings towards him as a best friend. I mean, nothing I did came out of “love feelings”, quite the oppisite, it’s always been feelings coming out as a friend, but deep inside, I pause and hope for more briefly. So yes, I do believe I can deal with him as a friend only. I just regret telling him. And it kills seeing how indifferent he is about how horriblei feel despite him noticing.
Then just confront him at some comfortable time, and speak about it. it’s easy to resolve stuff if you just sit down and talk. if you’re such good friends, it should be even easier. just lay everything out clearly and hope for the best. don’t let the pain get to you. and if he doesn’t care, then let it go. there are other people in the world who’d love to hang out with you. keep Smiling 🙂