I’ve been thinking about killing myself more often than i like lately and idk. Just, with my finals coming up, in 40 days, i will have to work hard and i dont know if i can do that. And i feel very unlovable right now and at the same time feel guilty feeling this way because iam surrounded by friends who love me but still. I dont know. And id never actually kill myself i think but it would be so easy? It would solve all my problems, no school, not feeling lonely and sick… Just. Abaolutely nothing. Or hell, depends on what you believe i guess. But i am scared because im thinking of KILLING myself and thats NOT normal thats sick and wrong and awfully sad but i cant tell anybody about it because theyd all worry and i dont want that. I do go to therapy and i will talk to my therapist about it so that i am at least doing something but still. The problems are still very real and very much there. And i want to be skinny too and pretty and more clever and hard working and successful and likeable but. I just dont have the energy. I just want to lay in bed. I wanna die a lot on some days and it feels awful.

• Share on Facebook