Maybe it’d be easier if I just kill myself instead of constantly bringing my parents to shame or burdening them. Like, look at the long term run— if I kill myself now, they’d just have to pay for my funeral. But if I keep living like this, they’d always have to pay for my food or needs for as long as I live, especially since I fucked up big time by getting myself expelled from school, which obviously means I probably dont have enough qualifications or experience for anyone to hire me. Thing is, I dont have the guts to kill myself. Maybe if I say it enough times, I might accidentally get killed in an accident or whatever?
