I don’t have any real friends. I have people I talk to and people I hang out with, but never anyone I would reach out to or anyone that would reach out to me. I haven’t had a real friend since I was 12 (I’m 18 now). It’s lonely. I think I try to lie to myself and say that I’m fine without friends, but that isn’t true. I want friends. And I wonder if I don’t reach out to people because I’m just afraid to or if I’m too picky about the friends I want to make. I just want someone I can talk about music with. Someone to talk about movies with. Someone who would want to MAKE movies and MAKE music with me. Someone who can listen to me ramble about all my opinions and s*** theories about how the universe works. Someone who’s interesting. I don’t know. Maybe I don’t give people enough of a chance. Maybe I’m afraid of getting hurt. Maybe I should be grateful for the people I have in my life already and work on those relationships. I don’t f****** know. All I know is that I’m unfulfilled and I desperately want someone to fill that gap.
