One time I caught my mom sending nudes to other men. She was married. And she’s done a bunch of other s***. Like drugs when I was a kid. She was caught though. I went to live with my dad and step-mom. My mom went to a hope house. Eventually got out and was aloud to see me again. My step-mom called me a selfish b**** once when I was 10. That fucked me up. Eventually I stopped caring about school. My grades got bad. I didn’t care. My step-mom and dad got divorced cause my dad was cheating on her. She took the kids. Except me cause technically we aren’t really related. I went to stay a couple weeks at a friend that lived kind of far cause it was kind of a tradition we had every summer. Then I went to stay with my mom for a bit. And she was sick. Like bad sick. Like “I’ve got genetic heart disease!” sick. It was kind of scary. Then my dad was all like “Y’know what just live with your mom.” I was happy. I missed my mom. Then she passed out once. On concrete. I freaked out. Internally of course cause I hate showing emotion. My mom woke up and I called my Grandpa to take her to the hospital. He did. Then it was kind of calm for a bit. Then school came around. i was doing okay. At least by my standards. My mom fainted like, one more time. Because of my mom’s heart disease she had to have meds and a pacer. Anyways. The meds. Right. BAD idea. I mean it kept her alive? But. My step-dad thought she was abusing the meds again. So he got mad. Yelled at her a lot. Drank a lot. He threw a bottle of some type of alcohol at her once. Missed but she was upset. I got grumpy and holed up in my room with glorious internet and fiction. I would snap at my mom because she was “sooooo annoying”. Pretty sure This combined effort of my step-dad and me hella stressed her out. (also my grandpa. He was ignoring her. Wouldn’t help her. wouldn’t give her any inheritance whenever he was gonna kick the bucket. He’s still alive btw.) Stress is pretty bad for the heart btw. What a surprise. So one night I just left her in her room to sleep. My step-dad came home later, not like I cared. Several hours later he’s yelling at me all panicked to ‘come here’ I exit m room and he starts telling me how there’s something wrong with my mom? (I think? Can’t really remember specific details at the moment.) Anyways he called 911 and told me to go try CPR. Cause I learned that in a 7th grade health class once. I went in there like, holy s***. I tried to check her pulse but. well. She was definitely not alive at this point. Her arm was cold and stiff. I rushed out of the room. step-dad told me to open the front door and wait for the medical people whatever. So I did. They showed up and a couple cops. They tried to revive my mom unsuccessfully. She was dead. So now, about 2 years later? Three? I dunno. I think it was September 2015. Now I live with my grandpa. It’s okayish. He’s not great at the whole parenting thing. pretty sure he’s gonna die soon. I’m not getting anything. It’s all going to his long time friends. Who will apparently help me out. They’re pretty well off though and I don’t think they need it. But whatever. I obvoiously wont need it. No. not the 18 year old who has never had a job ever. (His fault actually. He wanted me to focus on school.) Also no people skills. Pretty sure i have really bad social anxiety. Also he wants me, ME, to take care of my handicapped(? not sure is this term is offensive sorry. That’s what I’ve always been told she is.) aunt. Who absolutely can’t take proper care of herself. How am I supposed to do that if I’m incapable of getting a good enough job to sustain both of us. I mean he said his long time friends would help out but who the f*** knows. My grandpa is not good at judging people. He’s gotten married twice last year. Both women were batshit crazy. Like wtf. And that’s just the women he’s married. Don’t even get me started on his other “lady friends”. Ugh. Dumbass. He barely knew the two women for LESS. THAN. A. F******. YEAR. I’m so sick of this s*** I’m just ready to die. F***.

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