I’m building a wall of pain and depression and I have no friends so I don’t even want to knock it down. I’ll just sit behind it, paralyzed, until the electric is cut off and the water is cut off and the internet and the phone and I leave this house and nobody knows where I went.
I am so stuck. I cannot even fill out an application to get a job because nobody calls me back and it’s just a set up for failure. My bank account is overdrawn, I need a battery for my car, my parents are dead, my brothers are dealing with their own lives and I have no friends to spill my guts to. Thank God for this site.
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Goddamn well I could tell our that it’s not all bad and life is gonna get better if you believe in Jesus and seek out God and all that but I’m not feeling that today so here’s what I’ll tell you I’m 16 every paycheck I get my mother steals and I can’t do anything but sit back and watch my world burn I have nowhere to go my grandparents are dying my job sucks and life is hell but guess what I choose not to feel bad about it I’m depressed as all hell sometimes actually I looked up the most painless way to kill myself today just to think about trying it but guess what it takes a lot of guts to kill yourself but you’ll only be a coward it takes a hundred times more balls to keep on living like there’s nothing wrong in the world
I’ll be your friend.