I’m so happy in my new job but for some reason, my depression is coming back. I can feel it creeping into my brain, turning everything black and hopeless. I feel useless even though I KNOW I’m doing well. My suicidal thoughts are returning and I’m cutting again after 6 years. I cry myself to sleep because I’m so confused and just feel so lost in these negative feelings. I tried to talk to my mother and she screamed at me, said she didn’t want to hear me crying and that I could talk to her when I have control of myself. But every time I try to bring it up, I start to cry because it just overwhelms me. I’m afraid to tell my friends because they’ve been so proud of my progress, I don’t want to disappoint them. But its getting worse. I’ve already attempted suicide this month. I don’t want to die but these episodes are so intense I can’t see reason when they come up. I don the know what to do.
